A Retelling of Red Dead Redemption
by CastleArcade
Summary: John Marston is ready to teach the wild west a lesson in good anime.
1. Chapter 1

A Retelling of Red Dead Redemption

Written by: Robert

John Marston stepped off the train. He didn't like what he had to do, but it had to be done. The US government tracked him down to take down the leader of a gang he used to ride with before he quit that life. That man was Bill Williamson. John had an idea of where he was, but needed someone to show him just where Williamson was hiding. He stepped into a saloon that was in the middle of town. The saloon seemed to be the only attraction in town. He walked up to the bar. "Howdy." John said. "I'll have a Final Fantasy 7. No DLC."

The bartender glared at him. "This is a Persona town, son."

John Marston was not a fan of Persona. "Come on, pardner. I know you got some Final Fantasy in the back. Just get it out here and I'll be on my way."

"Son, someone sees you with a Final Fantasy in your hand in this town, you're as good as dead."

"I'll take the risk."

The bartender sighed and went in the back. He came back out with a dusty Final Fantasy 7 and handed it to John. He paid him and looked around the bar. He leaned in close. "You know where I can find Bill Williamson?" He asked the bartender.

"If you're lookin' to get yourself killed, I do know where he is. Up the road a ways. Big fort a couple miles. Fort Mercer's what it's called."

"Thank you very much." John said and walked out of the saloon.

He got up onto his horse and made his way to Fort Mercer. The bartender was right, it was easy enough to find. He got off his horse and approached the two large doors that kept any unwanted people out of the old fort.

"Bill!" John Marston shouted. "Bill Williamson!"

There was a long silence, and then he appeared on top of the fort, overlooking John.

"Wasn't smart of you to show up here, John." Bill said.

"We both knew this would happen sooner or later." John said.

"What happened to you, John? We used to ride together, you and me! And now you show up here, hand on your gun, ready to kill me? I'm hurt."

"It don't have to end like this, Bill." John said.

"You come up to my fort and interrupt me and my good time. I WAS WATCHING DRAGON BALL GT!"

"Oh, come on, Bill. We both know Z is better." John was looking desperate. He didn't want to shoot his old friend.

"And now you judge me for liking GT?"

"It's not that, Bill. But we both know that there's plenty better anime out there."

"NAME ONE, JOHN."

"Death Note is one of the best anime out there, Bill!" John shouted. He was getting angry, but his hand stayed still.

All Bill Williamson did was laugh. "Death Note? That's all you got? I bet you haven't even watched Bleach. Naruto!" Bill was just as angry.

"You and I both know Bleach has gone on too long for me to start now…" John said.

"You've changed, John."

"Bill. I implore you… come peacefully."

"What was that? You _implore_ me? How about this. I implores you to get out of here and get a better taste in anime."

"You made me do this, Bill. The manga is better anyway." John said, reaching into his coat pocket to pull out a copy of Shonen Jump. Bill immediately pulled his gun out before John had a chance and shot him. John fell onto the ground, losing consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Bonnie

Written by: Robert

John opened his eyes. He was lying on a rickety bed in and old shack. He could hear quite a few people talking outside. He leaned up. "Gaaah." He looked down to see his bullet wound was bandaged up. The door opened and a woman stepped inside.

"It's about time you woke up." The woman said.

"So I'm assumin' you found me?" John asked.

"That's right. With a fancy manga book in your hand. No wonder you got shot."

"Funny, ma'am." He said, standing up, wincing in pain.

"Much abliged for fixin' me up, miss…"

"MacFarlane. Bonnie MacFarlane." She said.

"How much do I owe you, Miss MacFarlane?" John asked.

"Twenty dollars should do it. Or you could work off your debt on the farm."

"I just may do that, Miss MacFarlane." John said, opening the door.

There were a couple of men kicking a third man on the ground.

"What's that about?" John asked.

"E3." She rolled her eyes. "Everybody's always got an opinion."

The men continued kicking the third man.

"Ye don't got a lick o' sense in your head! Color Splash don't look worth a hog's hind end!" The man shouted.

John Marston and Bonnie continued walking past. Better to let them settle their own disputes.

"Tell you what." Bonnie said. "You give me a ride up the road to Armadillo and consider the debt paid.

"That's awful nice o' you, Miss MacFarlane." John said.

"Call me Bonnie." She said back.

The two of them climbed up onto the stagecoach and began the ride to Armadillo.

"You wanna tell me what you were doin' outside of Fort Mercer with a hole in your side?" Bonnie asked.

"Differences in opinion, ma'am." John simply said.

"Oh really? And what was your opinion?"

"I'm not rightly a fan of Dragon Ball GT, Miss MacFarlane."

Bonnie groaned.

"That's what it's always about. What is it with men defending cartoons coming from God knows where?"

"They come from Japan, ma'am." John said.

"Americans don't have any business fiddlin' with Animes and Manga books." Bonnie said.

"And what's your source of entertainment if I may ask, Miss MacFarlane?"

"I read books." Bonnie answered.

"Comic books?" John asked.

"No. Books. Without the pictures."

"Come again?"

"Books, Mister Marston."

"Ain't no fun in that, ma'am."

Bonnie sighed.

They stopped the coach in Armadillo. John got off with Bonnie and they made their separate ways.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to come back and see me, Mister Marston." Bonnie said, tossing John the manga that got him shot. "And tuck that away so I don't have to fix another hole in ya."

"I'll keep that in mind, Miss MacFarlane." John said.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Nigel

Written by: Robert

John Marston was riding his horse. He had just left Armadillo and was looking for a way to get into Fort Mercer. "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HECK TO DO!" He exclaimed to himself. He was normally soft-spoken, but never when he was on his horse. Nobody knew why, but John for some reason had to shout at the top of his lungs whenever he was on his horse.

"SHUT UP!" Someone shouted to him. He looked to be standing in a group of people who were watching a man with a table covered in different tonics and such. A snake oil salesman would best describe this man. "YOU SHUT UP, FRIEND!" John Marston shouted at the man and hopped off of his horse.

"So what's going on here?" He asked the man.

"Take a look, yerself, pardner." The man responded.

John cut through the crowd until he reached the stranger. "What do we have here?" John asked him.

"Ah! A volunteer!" The salesman replied. "The name is Nigel West Dickens! I represent Cowtendo, good sir. Would you like to try our newest console?"

"A new console? How come I haven't heard of no new console?" He asked, obviously not believing the man.

"Nonsense! Just because we're quiet, doesn't mean you won't buy it! That's our slogan, of course." He winked.

"Fine then, friend. I'll bite. Show me this new console." John said, crossing his arms.

"Right this way." He lead John to the table where a small object labeled the Cowtendo Snap was located.

"What's this thing?" John asked him, picking it up.

"The Snap, of course!" The man chuckled.

"Snap?" John Marston asked.

"That's right, sir, the Snap!" He said, showing off the video game console's ability to be taken apart, the portable screen, the wireless snappable controllers, and a few other features.

"That's all fine and dandy, Nigel, but… what does it do?" John asked.

"Beg pardon?" Nigel asked.

"This console. You showed me some nifty things, but does it do something the others can't?"

"You can carry it with you. On the go, sir!"

"I'll give you that, Mr. Dickens. How's the battery life?" John asked.

"No worries, sir." Nigel responded.

"Answer me, friend." John said.

"As I said, sir. There is no worries. It's coming in just a few months, so you won't have to wait very long!"

"You're not telling me anything about this so-called console, friend." John glared. "Tell me something about this thing, or we'll have some trouble."

"I'll tell you more… right before release." He winked.

"You little… forget this nonsense, I've got to find a way into fort mercer anyway." He said, walking away from the man.

The man waved to John as the crowd threw their money at him.

"Cowtendo fans…" John said to himself, hopping up onto his horse. "THEY'LL BUY ANYTHING!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Seth

John Marston made his way to Coot's Chapel. The snake oil salesman had informed him that he may want to speak with a true Cowtendo fan. He approached the small graveyard where he saw a dirty looking man opening a coffin.

"Howdy." John said as he approached. "You wouldn't happen to be Seth Briars, would ya?"

Seth looked worried and turned to John. "Who's askin'?" He asked.

John shook his head at the sight. The man was filthy and looked to be on drugs. "John Marston. Nigel West Dickens told me to meet you."

Seth gasped and hurried to John. "Really? Cowtendo's top man sent you to me? It's a miracle! You can help me find the treasure!" He hurriedly and sloppily pulled out a treasure map.

John looked over Seth's shoulder and read it. "Son, are you alright?"

Seth laughed. "More than alright, John Marston. I've got all the help I need now."

John sighed. "What is it that you're looking for exactly?" He crossed his arms.

"Games, John. Games." He excitedly said.

"Games… for that Cowtendo Snap toy?" He asked. "Are ya sure ya want to put in the trouble?"

Seth just laughed again. "You know I do! Look, look. Look at what I've found so far." He said, pulling open a burlap sack. He pulled out a copy of Doom. "See? Lookie here!" He giggled.

John stood there in disbelief. "Son, that game's out for everything. And it's been out for just about two years this May. That ain't new."

Seth looked angry. "There ain't pleasin' some people." Then he gasped. "I know! I know! Resident Evil Revelations. Plus the second."

John looked even more confused. "Those are even older, son. Revelations is pushin' six years old."

Seth looked even angrier. "Skyrim…"

"That's about six years too, partner." John said with a laugh.

"They got original Mario Bros comin' out for rent."

"You mean they got a release date for a game from 1983? They ain't just releasin' it now since it's just an emulation anyway?" John was in disbelief.

"Maybe you don't understand how important por-ta-bill-a-tee is, friend." Seth glared.

"Son, to each his own, but I ain't gonna pack around a $300 overhyped tablet like it's a DS."

"That's what the carrying case is for, John."

"Sure, if you wanna pack a purse around, it ain't my business." John made his way back to his horse. "Somethin' tells me that the Cowtendo Snap ain't as good as you people claim it is. Maybe I'm pessimistic, but maybe I'm right. But I do know one thing." John saddled up on his horse.

"What's that, John?" Seth asked, his face was bright red.

"I SURE AIN'T LOYAL TO NO BRAND" he shouted as he rode off.


End file.
